Crazy english language

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger.

English muffins were not invented in England nor French fries in France.

Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

Quicksand makes one sink slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor a pig.

Why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Why do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

Why do we ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

Park on driveways and drive on parkways?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?

When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

And why do I start my watch when I wind it up but end this essay when I wind it up? - Spotted by Sherhan Suhandi who submitted it to The New Paper